new beginnings

This week I have decided feeling sorry for myself will not make me happy or get me what I want from life. I need to take life in hand and make things better and change my outlook. I think if I look more positively on life I will be happier, other in my life will be happier and maybe I will make more new friends, make the relationship I have with current friends stronger, and maybe just maybe meet someone who can make me happy.

I have done something this week that if you asked me this time last week..'would you consider a holiday all on your own in a foreign country'... I would have ran for the hills! But I took this new positive outlook on board and on some sound advice from family and friends... took that leap and booked a holiday on my own for six weeks time. Now stupid or brave im not sure right now but its gotta be a step in the right direction to make things better for myself!

I have realised how much good friends make life better, challenge you to do more things and most importantly know how to make you feel better. And girls (you know who you are), last night was the best night in YEARS! I let my hair down, and for the first time in as long as I can remember I felt good about myself and maybe just maybe realised im not THAT bad afterall!

Fresh Start...

Life...sometimes you feel like nothing is going right for you, or at other times certain aspects of life are just what you you wished for! But why can everything not work out together? Why can't life be less like a see-saw and more like a beautifully balanced set of weighting scales? I sometimes feel that for one part of your life to be all you want it to be...something else has got to give.

Maybe I am feeling very sentimental right now. I have recently come out of a long term relationship and want to learn from the past. I like not to think of what went wrong as a mistake, more as a learning curve for next time.  I hope I learn from the past and take it with me the next time, but love can blind you and make you not see life as it is, the rose tinted glasses effect makes you see what you want to see.

I am beginning to understand that in order for me to find the person who makes me feel happy and ultimately complete, I need to be happy in myself. Now that sounds life an easy task, but in reality it is quite a daunting task.   I have made a lot of choices in life that I sometimes struggle to learn to live with. The biggest of all, being so far away from my family.

So for now a lot of thinking has to be undertaken to decide what I want from life. I do not want to look back in thirty or forty years and think what if.....